The journey continues…

The journey continues….

So, it’s been some time since I wrote on my blog, but after some time,I decided it want to keep my blog going. Mostly, just to keep track of the way of how my waking up process happens. As it didn’t just stop when I got back from Hawaii, rather, it’s been an ever-evolving process since.

Recently, I’ve been reading the blog written from the wife of a friend/former yoga student of mine about the ups and downs of her husband’s cancer and the agony of his dying process (which I’m so glad she did bc it was authentic and real and out of unconditional love for her husband and those who knew him), but it kept us all connected, which we often lose in this hustle and bustle world. His story was obviously more arduous and painful, and I’m not comparing my journey to his- it’s just different. I hold all the most respect and reverence for this friend and his family. Yet, it’s still the process of dis-ease, we all go through it, in one form or another.

I wish we could all sit around the fire and keep oral tradition alive, but that’s not the way things are so much now, so this is my story- my version of oral tradition. you don’t have to read it, I won’t be offended. I will just tell it as it unfolds and maybe you will tell yours too.

My hope is that perhaps it may help or inspire you or someone you know to make a change and find healing in whatever way you may need or want. Or maybe it’s just a way to stay connected to those who I might not always talk to or see on a daily basis. Whatever the reason, connection lies behind it.

So, here it goes… Since getting back to the mainland from Hawaii. A lot to catch up on…this will most likely be in a few parts.

As most of you know, my health took somewhat of a dive a few years ago, and my physical body’s systems went awry, and not to mention the emotional and spiritual sides too. Which came unglued first? I don’t know, I guess it doesn’t matter….

A short time after I got back from Hawaii, maybe October,I went to see a doctor to discuss my health. She was a highly regarding doctor from Russia who had studied hormones and I highly anticipated seeing her, as I thought she would be the one to turn things around, and I could laugh at the 4 other endocrinologists who didn’t help. So, I went to see her, and started telling her all about my issues, and let her look at my blood work that I’d had done with other doctors, ready for her to have some bright conclusive idea, but instead, the words that came out of her mouth… “I think you need to see an endocrinologist. This is too complicated- it’s beyond my scope”. My heart sunk, and I felt the tears swelling in my eyes, the lump in my throat…and I couldn’t stop it, so there I sat like a child crying in her office. She didn’t understand why, of course, she didn’t know about all the other doctors I’d seen, all the work I had done, but she was quick to check my diagnosis off as “emotionally labile”- Nice. I forget the diagnosis code number for that one.
205.6 or something like that, haha. I don’t know. However, she did have a moment of empathy when I told her about my trials with endocrinologists, and she gave me the name of a woman who does work with biodynamic cranial sacral therapy, which addresses the parasympathetic nervous system and the emotional body together and allows the body to relax and go into healing mode. She said, I want you to see this woman, and if things still aren’t better in 3 months, then revisit the endocrinologist idea. Ok, I agreed, it was better than nothing.

I gave the woman, Sophie, a call,and her working process is very different. She has a 3 month contract with her clients in which she basically sees and or talks to them almost everyday. She guarantees her work with that commitment- a unique approach. Wasn’t anything what I was expecting and I was a little nervous to commit, but i was so ready for things to get better. Basically, she does cranial sacral therapy to calm the nervous system down (as a result of too much stress from too many sources.. Physical, emotional, environmental food, etc). But that was just scratching the surface of it, she did a lot of work with me emotionally; and as we did that, we would physically track what was happening in my physical body. There are sensations that you will notice once you just pay attention. You see, the body stores trauma and memories in the actual cells. When we don’t discharge an emotion (ie stuff it down) and ignore it, it stays with us. For example, when an animal gets attacked by a predator, and survives, it shakes and trembles, and that is a form of discharging that traumatic event. Often times, us humans, just try to forget about something that effects us and ignore it, we make less of a deal. So, she got me to talk about past memories, some not so pleasant memories, we talked about everything under the sun over these three months, the body knows when it’s ready to resolve issues, and the silliest of memories would come up at the most random times, but I inherently knew, that my body was ready to release that when the memory appeared. We would also re-do scenarios in my life and she made me imagine things how I wanted them to turn out rather than how they actually did (reason being: that the brain cannot distinguish between what’s real and what’s imagined, so when you imagine things how you want them to turn out, you release positive endorphins and actually change the body’s internal chemistry). So, with much time releasing old emotional scars, working on the cranial sacral system, and doing a lot of positive affirmations on my future plans, many things did get better. Not completely, but definitely, things were starting to shift in the right direction….

It wasn’t until the last week of my sessions with Sophie, that I felt like I had an epiphany of sorts. I had been getting a little short and quick to frustrate with her those last couple weeks. She asked me what was wrong, and I eventually broke down when I realized something. A lot of my work with her had been about my loss in trust in people who I was close to, as I had lost a lot of trust in dear friends and people I was close to throughout recent years, who essentially just disappeared from my life. Here I was in my last week with her, someone who I had told more about myself to than most two friends…she knew it all, and we became friends too, and there I was, in my mind, having to face losing someone else close to me. The very issue I had worked with her a lot on, I was facing with her. Ironic. In that moment, for the first time, I had felt “the wall” go up. Literally, I felt the physical wall in my body…hard and dense, blocking the space between us, and at that very moment, I became aware of how I go into situations and relations with a pre-existing wall. I was able to break it down and the epiphany of knowing that was huge and me aware. I felt I was able to move forward. I had conquered something that had been holding me back from my shift. I feel this was a pivotal piece in my healing process.

That’s enough for now, but there’s more to catch you up on, but will finish another time…

💗dre

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The DREam

Well, I made it back to the mainland…

Just spent the last few days traveling and readjusting to the time zone and everything else. It kinda feels as though I just woke up from a dream- did it really happen? Was I even gone? My, how time flew- it felt like only a week had gone by….
But now, I reflect on the lessons learned, and implement the new ways of life I have adopted. New ways of eating, sleeping, meditating, practicing yoga, of cleansing the body and spirit. Learning how to slow down, how to let go of fears, how to trust and have faith, how to reflect on why something makes me feel a certain emotion, how to Give without expectations, how to Live without expectations, but the hardest lesson for me that i am still learning is how to “love myself”; for all of the above lessons are not as significant if I can’t master this one. I have accomplished a great deal of healing on this journey: physical, spiritual, and emotional; not completely where i would like, but definitely better. I still find it hard to look at the mirror and see myself, to love myself, but I’m getting better, and I am much more forgiving and patient with myself than i used to be. I have now come to realize, after this time, that this is what my journey was about in the first place- i lost sight of it, and when i did, everything else broke down along with it. not without reason though; this is all part of a greater plan for me, my future, and for those whom I hope to inspire with it, because a teacher can’t really explain or teach something to others unless they can fully feel, know, and understand it themselves… and I now feel as though it has all become clearer: this IS my path, my awakening…my DREam.

Until next time:

Much Love and Alohas!

Andrea (aka Dre) 😉

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The last couple days I spent doing a little chillin. I left Lahaina and ended up meeting with the Psychic I had contacted before. (You may remember a blog about her from before) I happened to be led to another store on the other side of the island and her card was laying there on the table. I took it as a sign to contact her. So I did and Her and I met on the beach. We discussed several things- i feel she was accurate and amazing… But I will leave it at that. 🙂
After that, I spent the last few nights in a hotel just to relax and let the thoughts flow and just “be”. Taking it all in. I was sitting by the pool one day, and a family from San Diego sat next to me- they were very friendly and the father asked if I was there by myself and I told him yes and he was curious as to why, in which I told him, that I was primarily there for the training. He then asked if I meditate, to which I said yes. For some reason, He seemed fascinated by that- he wanted to “learn” how. He worked as an aerospace engineer and he told me his boss wanted to meet with him the day he got back. He knew this boss was quick to fire people, and he was worried he was in line for the chopping block. in a way, he seemed to be crying out for help a little. i happened to be reading “Conversations with God”, and the page i had just read was about “bad” and “good”, and how its all really “good” (One of the many lessons ive learned), because the “bad” lessons often bring forth good things. Everything is temporary. i handed him my book and told him to read the page. That it was meant for me to share it with him. He then asked if i would teach him how to meditate (lol) and I said “I can give you pointers, but it’s not something I can really teach you”, you must practice”. His wife and mom agreed he needed to learn as he was very stressed out all the time and it was hurting his family life. He left and then came back down, and i shared all i knew and then told him to go off and find a peaceful place… and he went. he was serious. i didn’t see him again that afternoon, as i left the pool shortly after he did, but i did see him from a distance walking hand in hand with his wife at sunset. it was kind of a magical moment for me to share that- i feel as though it was a lesson for both him and I. beautiful…
The next day, I got up early and drove down to a bay where the dolphins were known to play in the morning. I got there later than I wanted, so I wasn’t counting on seeing them, but to my surprise, there they were off in the distance. This bay had lots of lava rock that had solidified when the volcano erupted and there was a trail. I decided to walk the trail and it kept going. There was nobody around; I literally felt like I was on the edge of the earth all alone- it was kind of eerie feeling, like a scene from Castaway. I was waiting for Wilson to wash up on shore. It was very peaceful, at first. Then, I heard what sounded like a baby crying, a little nervous, but then I saw a family of wild black goats walk out…now I know why they’re called kids. Ha. I kept walking, and then came across two grave sites with goat skulls on top. Ok, a little weird- “how did they die? Did a goat attack them? Did they jump off a cliff? Was this a trap?” Everything was going through my head at this point. I tried to repeat to myself ” nothing to fear except fear itself”, but then i heard what sounded like someone crying or yelling at me. I don’t know, i think it was a goat again, but i decided i would turn around and go back at this point. Literally the most eerie feeling….but a lesson how the mind can take over sometimes.

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Thank you

Thank you to everyone for your beautiful comments and emails both on and off the blog. Every time I get a message, my heart is warmed , so many mahalos!

Yesterday, after i wrote, i stumbled upon a restaurant on the beach that i had read about, and i ended up talking with this older fellow in line, and we ended up sitting and continuing our conversation over lunch- a very interesting conversation about spirituality and mother Maui. After lunch, I walked out to the beach and noticed sea turtles were swimming. Luckily, I had my snorkel gear on me, so I put my stuff down, gear on, and headed in. When I got in, I couldn’t believe my eyes, but a huge sea turtle was about 3 ft in front of me. I just sat there in awe for about 20 minutes, chillin next to the turtle. Geez! 🙂

Today, I learned how to surf- FINALLY!! I can check that off my bucket list! No but seriously, I’m totally hooked. I was pretty happy with myself- I got up my first try and every time after. its so awesome. I plan to go again tomorrow.

After I got back, I hung out with a girl from Milan Italy whose staying at the house. We went to one of the resorts to watch the sun set and had a couple drinks. Now for some shut eye!

Aloha

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Official Yogi

So, again it’s been very busy. I’m trying to think back from when I last wrote.

Since I wrote last, we had been cramming a lot of training into our last few days. We each had to teach our own class and take our final test, which was long! But I did, and now I’m officially a certified yoga instructor! Woohoo! Yoga has become a lot different in my eyes- I have gone from one who is “doing”yoga to one who is “being” yoga, which basically means that you take your practice with you off of the mat. You take the focus, mind control, breath, loving thoughts into your everyday life. Live Aloha (as they say here). Which is something I will continue to do and practice wherever I go- so if you still hear me say aloha to you years from now, know that is the reason, as a reminder to myself.

Anyways, On our last day together, the yoga crew went to a secret local waterfall and went swimming, which was absolutely beautiful. The water was cold and the falls were so powerful, and then we came home and did our graduation ceremony.

The next days to follow, the girls slowly began to leave and make their way back to their hometowns. A few of us went to wailea, and we celebrated with a day at the beach at grand wailea hotel- not really my scene, but was still fun. We’re putting a spoof video together called stuff raw foodies say, as our time here was completely raw food (well 90%) and some of the things you here a raw food chef say are just funny.

The next day, we were down to just 2 of us gals (leora and I). We went to lahaina and took a sailing trip to lanaai. It was great. as we were sailing, a pod of spinner dolphins swam by; there must have been 50 of them! most AMAZING! We then went snorkeling and hung out in lanaai for a few hours. Then, on the way back, the captain let us jump out and swim in the bluest water- you just open your eyes and see royal blue!

Now it’s just me… Felt lonely at first, but, that part went away. It actually is really fulfilling to be here by myself. Its come full circle. i went to Iao valley, then explores kihei, and found this great home to stay at in lahaina and has a very homey feel- its right on the beach and a few other girls from France and Italy are staying there.

Right now, I just came across this spot in kapalua where there is a great trail along the water and I am sitting and writing to you now on this rocky cliff. I now plan to do some thinking…

Aloha!

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Had quite an unusual experience today…. I think I may be losing some of you at this point with my out-there stories, but it’s a part of my physical healing process, so as crazy as it may sound to you,its legit to me, and still going to share it with you.

I do reiki work, so I’m a firm believer in energy work, but not everyone does, and that’s ok, so you don’t have to read this if you don’t want. Anyway, there is an ancient healer here in Maui who uses hyperdimentional etheric healing. What is that you are probably asking… Well, I shared a picture of the pamphlet if you care to read about it, but basically deals with ones energy fields, and gets rid of negative energy/entities that have attached to you and created illnesses. He also uses magnets ( also a Chinese medicine technique) to help pull energy where it needs to go and promote healing.

The whole experience felt very serendipitous to me. In a way, I felt as though I was partly led to Maui for this very reason. Angel ( housemate) came home on Tuesday, having just come back from seeing him. She had staff infection on her foot, and he did a healing with her. Its already clearing up. she mentioned he does healings on Tuesdays and Thursdays- all donation based. I really wanted to go, but it’s hard to get a ride when you want as we are dependent on housemates for a car, and they aren’t always around. Well, today, a friend of housemate randomly stopped by and said he was going to see Raj Agni (healer), and asked if anyone wanted to go- i jumped at the chance. So, we drove way up into the mountains; kinda felt like my version of climbing the Himalayas seeking the truth. Anyway, you sit in a chair under this geometric pyramid that spins, creating an energy vortex,and he scans your different auras. he told me i had 11 entities attached to me, then he scans for where they entered and saw that it was from my right shoulder blade. If you are still with me, he then scanned my body for physical healing abilities, emotional health, happiness. He was very accurate and He knew the area in my body that I was having difficulty with, without me saying. he used magnets… I felt the energy moving- it was crazy! He then uses the vortex to further healing and seals the body from allowing negative energies to permeate the aura. I physically felt pressure in my head for the next couple hours and also had a purging of some emotions.

Just wanted to share that…

Aloha!

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